October: A Time to Pause, Reflect and Reset

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Before we know it, this year is coming to an end, and I always think October is the real turning point in the year. There is something about this month that makes you suddenly feel as though you are nearing the end, and it naturally brings a sense of reflection. We begin thinking about the year that has been, what we have experienced, what has changed and what we might want to do differently as we move towards the end of the year.

October is especially interesting this year, with Venus in retrograde and Mercury joining the retrograde period. As we know, retrogrades are an optical illusion caused by the movement of the planets as we observe them from Earth, but astrologically, they offer us an opportunity to pause and reflect on certain areas of our lives. Venus is associated with relationships, love and all the things connected to them, from our relationship with ourselves to our relationships with others and everything in between. This can be a time when things come up for us to look at, particularly those things we may have been avoiding or choosing not to acknowledge. Then, with Mercury joining the mix, we have communication to consider, not only how we communicate with others but also how we speak to ourselves and the relationship between our words, our thoughts and our connections.

It really is an interesting combination, and I think it offers us an opportunity to do some gentle inner work as we approach the end of the year. We can use this time to reflect on our relationships, friendships, love and communication, allowing ourselves to understand what is working for us and what might need a little attention. Rather than rushing towards the end of the year, we can use this period to become more conscious of how we relate to ourselves, other people and life in general, so that we can move forward feeling a little more renewed.

I have always thought of October as a particularly special time of year. We are in the midst of autumn, one of my favourite seasons, and for me, October is also the beginning of what I call the witchy season. At the end of the month, we have All Hallows' Eve, or Halloween, followed by Samhain in the Wheel of the Year. Samhain marks the traditional end of the harvest season and the beginning of the darker half of the year in many modern Pagan traditions. It is also a time associated with remembrance, honouring our ancestors and reflecting on the cycles of life, death and renewal. In many contemporary spiritual traditions, it is considered the witch's New Year, making it a beautiful opportunity to reflect on what has passed and what we might want to welcome in next.

There is something about this turning of the Wheel of the Year that feels like a cosmic reset, an invitation to draw a line under what has been and consider how we want to move forward. As we descend into the darker months here in the Northern Hemisphere, nature reminds us that life doesn't always need to be about growth, action and doing more. There are seasons for blossoming and seasons for letting go, times for being out in the world and times for turning inwards. Autumn invites us to pause, reflect, release and make space, while also allowing us to set some gentle intentions for how we want to finish the year.

And I think the word gentle is particularly important here. We need to remember that we are not in a race against other people, against ourselves or against the metrics that seem to dictate so much of our lives, particularly on social media. We can become so caught up in what everyone else is doing, what they have achieved and what their lives look like that we forget to ask ourselves a much more important question: how do I actually want to live my life? Not how someone else thinks I should live it, not how it is supposed to look from the outside, but what feels aligned, meaningful and joyful for me.

Life is far too short to spend it chasing somebody else's idea of how things should be. We are all at different stages and chapters of our lives, with different needs, capacities, experiences and dreams. What works for one person may not work for another, and what feels right for us now may look entirely different in a few years. I think there is something incredibly freeing about recognising this and giving ourselves permission to find our own way.

October is a wonderful month to take a look at the year so far and reflect on how it has been for you. With the Wheel of the Year offering us this sense of completion and renewal, we can use the opportunity to check in with ourselves, notice what we need and consider how we want the coming months to feel. And this doesn't need to mean making huge changes or creating a long list of things to achieve before December arrives. Sometimes it is the smallest things that make the biggest difference. Perhaps you want to spend more time in nature, make more room for rest, reconnect with a friendship, create stronger boundaries or simply be a little kinder to yourself. And if something bigger is calling to you, allow yourself the space to explore that, too.

One thing I particularly want to bring into this period of reflection, especially with the Venus and Mercury retrogrades, is the importance of looking at how we care for ourselves and nourish our relationships. Are we giving ourselves the same understanding and compassion that we so readily offer other people? Are our relationships reciprocal, and do they allow us to feel seen, heard and supported? How do we communicate our needs, and how do we speak to ourselves when things don't go according to plan? These are all things worth exploring as we move towards the end of the year, not because we need to fix everything, but because understanding ourselves a little better can help us make choices that feel more aligned.

So, take your time this month. Get outside in nature if you can, notice the changing colours, feel the cooler air and allow yourself to be part of the season rather than rushing through it. We have spent so much of our lives on these metaphorical treadmills, caught up in the hustle culture that tells us we should always be doing more, achieving more and striving for the next thing. I think more people are beginning to question this way of living and realise that we don't have to do things in the same way simply because that is how we have always done them.

And I am certainly not saying that a little hustle never has its place. Sometimes we need that burst of energy, that determination to get something done or the motivation to take a leap towards something we want. But there is a difference between choosing to put our energy into something meaningful and living in a constant state of pushing ourselves beyond our limits. The important thing is understanding what works for us, recognising when we need to move forward and knowing when it is time to slow down. When we begin listening to ourselves in this way, we give ourselves the opportunity to live in a way that feels more sustainable.

I also love the idea of using this month to take a little journey through the Wheel of the Year and reflect on the seasons we have moved through. From the quiet of winter, through Imbolc and the first stirrings of spring, into the blossoming energy of Ostara, the growth and abundance of summer, the first harvest at Lughnasadh and the balance of the autumn equinox, each season has its own energy and invitations. Take a little time to consider what each of these seasons has looked like for you this year. What were you moving through? What did you learn? What brought you joy? What challenged you? What did you release, and what did you discover about yourself along the way?

You might like to write these reflections down, giving yourself space to acknowledge the journey you have been on rather than focusing only on where you think you should be by now. From there, consider how you would like the next season of your life to feel. You don't need to map out every detail or have all the answers. Think of it as planting a few gentle seeds and allowing yourself to see what grows. Sometimes the intention is simply to feel more rested, more connected, more present or more open to joy.

As the Wheel turns and we approach the beginning of another cycle, let this be an opportunity to pause, reset and give thanks for the year that has been. Even if it hasn't been the year you expected, there may still be moments, lessons, connections and experiences worth acknowledging. Gratitude doesn't mean pretending everything has been wonderful or overlooking the difficult things. It simply means allowing ourselves to recognise the whole picture, making room for both what has been hard and what has been meaningful.

And as we approach Samhain, with its associations with remembrance and the ancestors who have walked before us, there is also an invitation to honour the parts of ourselves that we are leaving behind. The versions of us that got us through difficult times, the beliefs that once kept us safe, the habits that no longer serve us and the things we are finally ready to release. We can thank those parts of ourselves for what they helped us navigate while allowing ourselves to grow beyond them. There is something quite beautiful about recognising that we are continually changing, shedding and becoming, just as nature does around us.

So, whatever your October is looking like, perhaps you can allow this month to be an invitation to go within, pause, reflect and look at things a little more clearly. You don't need to rush into a new version of yourself or make grand plans for the months ahead. Simply give yourself the space to listen, notice what is coming up and consider what you need as you move towards the end of the year.

At this special time, when the veil is traditionally believed to be thinner, we can honour those who came before us, but we can also honour ourselves: who we have been, who we are becoming and the parts of us that are ready to be laid to rest. With these retrogrades, take your time, turn inwards and listen. You may be surprised by what comes up when you finally give yourself the space to hear it.

All my love

Hannah X