You are not an island ....

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I know that despite years of me in different ways needing some extra help and support, I still have to work on leaning in and asking and not feeling ashamed. Often from childhood we’ve been told we have to do it on our own, and wear our independence like a badge of honour.

( I love being independent too but it’s finding a balance.)

The big thing for me has been doing this asking beyond my health, and feeling worthy of that know its good to be supported whatever I’m doing.

It’s interesting that a friend recently pointed out to me, the help they get because they have the funds to just because the support freed them up for other stuff, that they loved doing and it felt great for them to do this. Which is a great perspective shift, and seeing how this was so effortless to them allowed me to see their ability to receive the good for them and how this played out in their life.

I realised I had been compartmentalising how I was doing this, and it was really good to unravel this and release the control I had around this.

Like always, these things begin with us unpacking all the stuff we have around something and changing this narrative on a nervous system level.

In a time when so many people suffer burn out and think being hyper independent is the solution because thats what we have been told to do. It’s looking at this and changing this for ourselves.

When we stop thinking of ourselves as an island and see how supporting ourselves sometimes means getting help. Drawing on our strengths for what feels good to do and bringing in help for the things we aren’t so good at.

If we look at how successful business’s run its organisation of people doing different things to create the product or service they are offering. A business can’t run as an island and they have people who are good at certain things doing those things in the business.

We gotta bring this to us on a smaller scale and realise that asking for help doesn’t mean your weak or there’s shame tied to it, helps allows us to optimise ourselves (obviously I also appreciate this isn’t always possible). We all need help in different ways too and so there’s no right or wrong. For some it could be physical others emotional, ultimately its knowing you are not alone and its actually positive getting some support if you need it and even if you just want it.

This too goes for something like mobility aids and how they support people and rather than seeing it as giving in, its actually going to optimise your life and support you to have a better quality of life. For instance recently I’ve resisted getting some specific cutlery that will be supportive for the tremor I have, quite simply I didn’t want to face that it would help. But releasing this resistance is positive and actually benefited me.

I’ve used the example of disability but this goes with anything, its interesting we’ll go to hair dresser for instance because they are the expert in rather than us trying to do it ourselves. Then in another breath because something seems like something you shouldn’t get support for you don’t.

Start noticing with things what feels good in your nervous system and body and how it differs with different things, and then unpack the the stories around this.

Let asking for help and getting support be a practise and see how this feels and where it lands for you.

Do you struggle with this?

Or do you ask for help with ease?

Lastly, remember you are not an island!!

Share with me here, I’d love to hear.

All my love

Hannah X