You aren't for everyone ...

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Learning we aren’t for everyone can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow, but what I’ve learnt to focus on here is the people that really appreciate you just as you are, they are your people.

We are led to believe if you are nice or a good person then everyone will like you, the truth it’s more important to be truly yourself. Everyone has different definitions of good or nice anyway, when I realised this it was liberating. Trying to make myself what I thought of as nice, or trying to make myself fit into someones version of that, meant I was suppressing parts of me and I was getting disconnected from myself.

Now this doesn’t mean I’m not “nice” or “good”, its being the version that ultimately feels good in your body or nervous system and one that feels aligned to you.

It’s pretty obvious too, that of course certain actions and behaviours in life aren’t ideal, and deep down this is something we all know. So I’m not suggesting your version of “good” is being just plain mean to someone or doing behaviours that are destructive, clearly there’s discernment here.

What I’m referring to is things such in my instance I’ve followed a spiritual path for many years and I’m into what some people would say “hippie” etc, and its all nonsense. I don’t take offence to this at all I recognise we are all different and on different paths. I personally believe everyone should believe what they want to from this perspective and I have plenty of friends who aren’t into any of this. We can have great discussions about things, our differences are healthy and its what makes the world multidimensional like it is.

However ,sometimes people just won’t accept you, which is fine but being rejected this way can be hard especially if you are very accepting of people.

A while back I found myself being rejected by someone, because of my spirituality, it’s interesting for me because I’ve definitely experienced this with disability which of course is tough. It felt so weird that someone felt so strongly about it, and the rejection hit differently than my disability. Especially as I’m not someone who feels I can only be surrounded by people who believe what I do, I don’t mind the difference and I know that we believe the things we believe in life due to all manner of our experiences. I ultimately try to look at whats at the core of someone rather than all the layers of things that make us up.

However this was a moment of learning for me to remember, that for some people it is too much and even if it doesn’t feel right to me thats more than ok. Whats more important is to focus on the people who are for you and like you just as you are, although it can be very easy to focus on the rejections. When actually we need to shift our attention, to the people and things that feel good in our bodies and nervous system. It makes sense to on a planet of so many people its pretty obvious we won’t be for everyone, and of course there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. Whats important is that our need to be liked doesn’t mean you are shutting parts of you down to be like, so experiencing not being for everyone is ultimately a good thing. Its means you are creating space for the people you are for. This isn’t to suggest ignoring your feelings if you are rejected, feel it and do the healing around this, no by passing here.

Let this post be a reminder it’s ok if you aren’t for everyone.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, share with me here.

Have you experienced this?

Ultimately remember you are perfect as you, just do you!

All my love

Hannah X