Are you supporting yourself?.....
We often look for support outside of ourselves, which is great but we also need to ask that question ‘how am I supporting myself?’.
Very often if we answer this truthfully we aren’t supporting ourselves very much at all, when actually supporting ourselves is the key place to begin.
You will find you’ll feel better about the support from the outside, when you have supported yourself from the inside. How often do we moan I feel so unsupported but if we check in with ‘am I supporting myself?’ in the main we will often answer no.
Its just not something we are ever really taught to do, we somehow think it just happens when we actually need to be proactive in supporting ourselves. This doesn’t mean we never reach out and ask for support, it’s all about finding balance in life. Supporting yourself is just one aspect, this will look different for everybody as well depending whats going on in your life, and when moving into the space of supporting yourself it’s looking at emotionally supporting yourself as well as more physical aspects of supporting yourself.
The starting point is identifying your needs and what this will look like for you, getting clear on this is essential and making sure its true to you is key. We are so disconnected from this, it may seem a little alien at first. When people feel stressed or burnt out it often stems from the fact they haven’t been supporting themselves, we tend to be good at nurturing and supporting others but struggle with ourselves. This is backwards because we will be much better for the others around us in terms of supporting them if we have started with ourselves but again this is an alien concept. We need to take our power back here and start doing it the other way around.
I know for me with my health there are things I need help and support from others with and I reach out for this, but I also know supporting myself with the things I can do is key to my mental and physical wellbeing and makes a difference to my life. This looks like a number of things including resting properly, pain management, not over doing it, saying no when I need to, supporting myself nutritionally and supplementing, regular meditation, having the occasional massage and relaxation techniques amongst things. But also surrounding myself with good people for my emotional wellbeing. Listening to my needs was hard at first and felt selfish. Sometimes things may be more intense or busy so you won’t be so on it, but the key thing here is trying even small amounts. It will make a difference and build momentum and like any habit you form over time it will become part of your daily life and seep out into your world and you will notice the benefits.
It will also change as your life does, a friend of mine recently said to me since she has become a Mum she has really found it challenging supporting herself because she feels so exhausted all the time and busy, so she has had to break it down to really small things, but she feels better when she’s doing it and more connected to herself and how she is with the others around her. Remembering it’s not about what it looks like, it’s how it makes you feel.
So where ever you are at check in with yourself, ask that question, ‘how can I support myself better?’ and like always take action, get clear and even if it’s the smallest of baby steps it all counts.
I hope to all whoever reads this it will trigger a little something in you to give yourself more support, because ultimately you deserve it.
All my love